OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize