I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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