Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
birth control should be required to get into college
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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