wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
