she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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