i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
