remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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