Just fell off a train. Bad.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
sarcasm needs its own font
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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