I showed him my bush... on skype.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
