I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
