he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
