May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
