I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
