I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
