I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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