i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
