i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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