I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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