But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
