He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
