my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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