tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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