i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
