I must be too annoying 4 u.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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