i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
