College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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