Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
