Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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