im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
