the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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