why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
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He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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