Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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