after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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