I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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