My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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