weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
