Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
