Christians are straight up FREAKS
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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