and you said cock pushups were impossible
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize