I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
