morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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