i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
