i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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