I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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