I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
