another moral hangover. fuck.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
