I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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