Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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