I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
