Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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