yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
