weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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