I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Randomize
