im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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