i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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