I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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