Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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