Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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