my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
