that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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