There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
