i think my tv is drunk
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
