Its about making memories worth repressing
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
