While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize